I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
