At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
So many bounce houses so little time
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
