the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
