Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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