My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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