Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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