goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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