You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
should my penis look like a turkey
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
