i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
