Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
