My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
