i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I still have a little drunk in my system
Randomize
