My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
