he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
