He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
