My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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