is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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