I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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