So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Randomize
