Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
