I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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