Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
