he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
