your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
