i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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