just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
