I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
