I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
what is it with giant penises always finding me
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Randomize