You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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