Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
