We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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