I wanna bring you to show and tell
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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