my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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