yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
my sisters under your porch take her home
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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