I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
