I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
