My boss' voice literally gives me gas
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
