i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I love you.
Bad choice
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
