OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
