I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Randomize
