Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I have fence marks all over my body
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
