How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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