I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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