I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
