i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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