I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
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