I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
