A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
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