I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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