I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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