I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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