what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I look excited, but its just a facade.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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