I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
