I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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