i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
