woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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