I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Randomize