The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize