Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
