THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
well, you know. whores of a feather.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
