she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize